Mania?

Raj's mood has been stable for so long, I know I should be grateful.  But his new psychiatrist hasn't ever spoken to me directly, so when he asks the "kid" about the "candy store", the kid certainly isn't going to tip his hand.  For the past couple of weeks, Raj has been increasingly irritable and demanding.  I don't know how long it's been, but my only medical contact for his care at the assisted living facility (Nurse Judy) lost her job.  All I have for the on-site psychiatrist is an email address, so I sent him a message tonight regarding Raj's symptoms and clarifying various med changes.  I hope it's not too late to prevent a full-blown manic attack and/or hospitalization . . .

Maybe he's right.  I do the best I can as his caregiver and Power of Attorney, but he's saying (again) that I'm just not doing well enough.  He's miserable and wants out of that facility right now.  The grass is always greener (blah, blah).  We've gone through this more times than I can count; Each time, I wonder if I can endure yet another round.  I tell myself that there's no one else to take this responsibility, that he doesn't intend to lash out at the kids and me, that this phase of aggression/lying/complaining will eventually pass . . . but it takes a lot of energy and constant vigilance to erect and enforce the necessary boundaries to protect my sanity and safety.

Lord, help me to focus more on the good that is all around me, and less on everything else.