Random Stuff

So grateful today to be sitting safely in my house, while the wind snaps branches and pushes the rain clouds out of the area . . . Researching candidates for a meaningful vote this election . . . Pondering forgiveness . . . Hoping the Lord hears my prayers . . . Wondering how long a body can last in crisis mode, and how to break out of it . . . Searching for the right words to communicate to Dave that this is the end, that I can't enable him any more . . . Feeling frustrated that I can't lift the "depression couch" by myself to rid our lives of it . . . Balancing everyone else's needs against my own . . . Wishing my neck didn't hurt so much . . . Missing Concordia . . . Needing a haircut . . . Wanting to help those who are aching, lonely, overwhelmed, separated from God . . . Hating when good people make bad choices, and keep making them . . . Loving my mommy . . . Considering the lilies . . . Believing it's too bad that Halloween falls on a Sunday this year . . . Rescheduling more doctor's appointments and tests . . .

And that's all I have to say about that.

Received Summons . . .

for the foreclosure on the BIL's house 10/11; I guess I always thought "getting served" would include an envelope - nothing so formal. I signed as my husband's POA, but it was weird to see my name included as a defendant (spouse is usually notified, apparently, even when I'm not on the mortgage). There were 8 showings at that house, and no offers, so we dropped the price. I called Citi Preservation to request mowing the lawn & confirm the property has been winterized.

Getting Raj back on meds is taking time; He says he's adding a few doses here and there, but at least I've spoken with the nurse so there is more monitoring. The consequence, not picking him up for weekly church and Bible Study, will stay in place until he stablizes more. In other news, the minivan door won't open, still can't find a hubcab to replace the one that's missing, and the Camry had a nail in a tire.

Listings on properties

Both the BIL's house and the land are now listed for sale; Praying this stuff moves forward.

Got the notice on the BIL's house

that foreclosure proceedings have begun. He left a message a while ago, wanting to know my mailing address to "reimburse" me for all his extra cell phone charges recently. Instead of this, he forwarded a utility bill, just another thing he won't pay on his 6-year-free stay. I think I found a real estate agent that will list the house, without it being cleared of the renter's possessions. It would be so nice to move beyond some of this.

Why does this keep surprising me?!

Duh. Why didn't I read my own blog? Raj's behavior getting less predictable and physical symptoms worsening, lying, impatience & irritability? And Julie's meltdowns always provide a prelude . . .

I saw his med log at the doctor's Monday, and he hasn't taken 2 of his mental-health meds and the colitis med for at least a month, and has several other mistakes on his log (which meds, doses). No wonder he signed up to be someone's wedding photographer without even talking to me about it, and he suddenly remembered a suicide attempt from years ago, and he emailed Y-Princess management stuff at 1am yesterday, and won't stick to our daily check-in time, and he's hoarding cash he's making by taking pictures at Sunrise . . .

This time last year, he stole a credit card & talked somebody into dropping him off at our home (instead of assisted living, where he resides) to surprise my mom and kids while I was away for the weekend. It took about 9 months to have his mental state stabilized enough to be honest about falls (when he'd remember), and for others to feel safe around him, but now we seem to have lost all that progress; And he's irritable and accusing me, on top of it all!

Granted, this isn't as bad as putting some Thailand acreage on our credit card or streaking through the community, but it's still very hard. Who is there but me to clean up these messes? To call the appropriate doctor & battle for insurance coverage? To tell my kids that Daddy is making bad choices, and they probably need to give him some space now?

A little bit of everything

BIL continues to run up extra cell phone charges, and has offered to reimburse me (in between other complaints/threats), but I'll believe THAT when I see it! Lockbox is on that house, so I'll need to call Citi & get the code for whatever R.E. agent I can get to list it. I've interviewed several, and gotten interesting feedback.

There's been possible gang (or gang-wannabe) activity at the vacant house Raj's parents used to live in, so called the police/sheriff to investigate & asked for assistance boarding up that house, which is now listed for sale. The tax assessor has the house listed as "average"!!

Survived my first virus on the laptop at home; It's fixed now.

Raj has tried committing to activities that are beyond his capabilities (e.g. wedding photography), forgetting to ask ahead of time, not calling at the regular time daily, etc. I'm noticing this is similar to the same time last year. Ruth and I attended a Kane County Cougars game (Sunrise outing) on Labor Day with him, but he didn't make the costs clear ahead of time, and the luau/pigroast in August was expensive, too.

Man, this stuff is exhausting!

Raj medical update

Raj has been pretty "high maintenance" the past couple of weeks, and his condition has declined. He looks unstable on stairs, can't reach for items on the floor, can't seem to squat, gets winded walking, etc. The pass-outs and falls are more frequent and he can't ever explain cuts/scrapes/bruises. The pulmonologist, cardiologist, psychologist and his PCP all point to possible neurological sources for his pass-outs; So I discussed options with his neurology practice, and made an appointment with one that specializes in seizures. I hadn't thought of his "episodes" in that way before, but he often convulses, makes gurgling noises, stiffens up, and never remembers what happened after an episode.